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Global Fitness Day: My Fitness Story

Photo Credit: Jorg Badura ©

Do you guys know what would have a more appropriate picture for this post? A picture of yours truly sweating like a turkey on Thanksgiving in her best exercise-y duds..

But fortunately for us all, the day that happens is not today.

"Why?" I hear you ask. "Today is Global Fitness Day after all according to celebrity trainer, Ramona Braganza," I hear you persist.

Well, I'll tell you why: I. Don't. Do. Exercise.

I won't go so far as to say I have never exercised before in my life because I was quite an energetic child to begin with. I had to make up for being rather troublesome by being quick on my feet, if you know what I mean (hi, Mum!). I used to dance as well and I was on my school's track team for about six years. You know, back when I could run further than fifty metres without wheezing (OK, slight exaggeration).

Now, mind you, I only sprint, of course. You say you "run" in this country and you will end up feeling extremely sorry for yourself, half-jogging half-limping along the desolate winding roads of Cumbria with a group of guys who unnaturally have enough stamina to run circles around you the entire way like picking up a pencil was more work, amicably coaxing you to "come on, keep going, you can do it." Yeah, but I couldn't though, could I, guys?

But I digress.

I never actually exercised when I used to sprint. I'd just do some warm-up stretches before the race and, not to toot my own horn, but my first-place ribbons were clear indicators that not trying so hard worked for me. But I have previously attempted to give the sadistic act of working out a go quite a few times to the amusement of others; that's how much I suck at it. I've never even been to the gym, which is quite sad.

But I have always been a strong supporter of #TeamCurvy. I'm like that weird groupie that has no business hanging with the band, but still you find him/her repeatedly photo-bombing their Instagram pictures. As amazeballs (not to mention modest) as I know myself to be, I was blessed with lady parts and in turn, lady hormones so I do feel self-conscious in those rare, fleeting moments when I'm not being a total bad-ass. You see, I too want to be able to go through the Nicki Minaj phase where I refer to myself as a 'Barbie.' Maybe then people wouldn't think my fourteen-year-old cousin was my aunt.

But as much as I eat (and boy, do I eat) it just has not happened. So thanks to Ms Braganza, I'm going to give the exercise thing a go to see if my body will suddenly start working backwards...

I know.

I know it makes no sense. It'll make even less sense when I tell you that whilst gaining weight is an issue (damn you, Metabolism), losing it is all too easy. I even tried to do a statistical analysis on how much I could lose per sit-up one summer when I was super-bored... The results were just as sad as that anecdote lol.

But there totally was some kind of logic to my thought process when I decided to start this fitness journey in the wee hours of this morning, so I'm sticking to it.

Plus, I think being healthy has a lot to do with being happy, and being happy is awesome (unless of course, you are irritatingly so) ergo, as the Queen of Awesome, it follows that I should be healthy too, non? I also watched a guy in Team GB colours being trained by one of their coaches quite recently so I've sort of been inspired to pick up running sprinting again; this would probably help me ease back into it.

My sister's been harping on (and on and on) about these Blogilates videos, so I think I might try that because it's free and I just loooove that word. Spanking summer bod, here I come!

But like I said...

Not today.

Not tomorrow either.

P.S. - I do appreciate that as I haven't really started my OOTD posts, a lot of you (particularly mobile phone users) probably have no idea what I look like. For all you know, I could be a five hundred pound green-skinned ogre who has to commute by crane.

There are currently only three posts that come to mind which have proper full-length pictures of yours truly on the blog (which you can check out here, here and here if you so wish), and one on my Instagram, I think. The reason for that is a tale for another time. I do plan on easing into the OOTDs this year though, so bear with me!

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