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Journal: Riddick

Disclaimer: there may or may not be NSFW material in this post. I'm not actually being coy, I literally don't know anymore... but you've been warned either way.

This is a tale of one of Twitter's strange and twisted occupiers. And whilst it has nothing to do with David Twohy or Vin Diesel (sadly), the title will make some semblance of sense in a second for it has indeed happened.

Funnily enough, it did cross my mind just the other day. I found a meme on Instagram that made me chuckle, and then wonder... and then thank the Lord. But clearly, I jinxed it because it's happened: I have received my first l'image de pénis (as if you'd need a translator).

I'd describe it to you, but I think "f--king unnecessary" sums it up quite neatly.

Excuse my prudence but you hear stories about these creatures of the night who feel the need to share pictures of various parts of their anatomy with friends and strangers alike. And you never think it'll happen to you - you even consider it an urban myth as opposed to the metaphorical dog poo smeared all the way down the sidewalk that is social media, that you've somehow managed to avoid stepping in with a blindfold on for many years - until it does.

My first thought was somewhere between "WTF" and "no freaking way." I was almost impressed by the sheer effrontery. That is how unexpected, unnecessary, unpredictable this particular message was. I then started to recount just how many tales I'd heard from people who'd been afflicted by similar attention-seeking males. The numbers are actually pretty shocking but most of them, I'd never actually met so I figured that, like "yeet" and "fleek", this was at best another American thing the folk across the pond delved in to the (often derisive) amusement of the rest of the world, and yet another thing a choice few Africans would proceed to adopt.

But now this harassment has afflicted me, I am forced to shirk the innate Nigerian nonchalance that often greets "wetin [no] concern me" and pose a question to the proponents of such uncouth behaviour: what the actual f--k? What train of thought brings anyone to the conclusion that an unwarranted photograph of one's genitalia would be welcomed by a complete stranger? What response does one even expect to get? And why is this a thing? Is there a support group of some kind? If not, I'm officially starting one.

My name is Karina So. I am a survivor living in Yorkshire. I am broadcasting on all RSS feed readers. I will be on Twitter everyday at mid-day, when the sun is highest in the sky. If you are out there... if anyone is out there... I can provide food, I can provide shelter, I can provide security. If there's anybody out there... anybody... please. You are not alone.*

Jokes aside, I'm livid. I studied Biology for many years, I have a little brother etc etc so the penis itself doesn't offend me at all. It's the incredibly misguided intentions behind it that's putting me off men, social media, life - you get the idea, I'm pretty peeved right now. This is sexist oppression. If I wanted a picture of a penis in a blanket (TMI? Now you know how I feel) I damn well would have asked for one.

I don't even know this guy. One conversation. One conversation on Twitter - a year ago. That's all it takes to invoke this level of familiarity these days? It's borderline abuse, if you ask me. I remember him saying something nice about my blog out of the blue which I thanked him for, then something about a festival somewhere, the fact that he was working over the summer and lived in some town somewhere in the south... But don't put this on me. Yes, I'm nosy and probably condone too many conversations with strangers online but a) he offered all this information and b) I stand by the fact that this was completely uncalled for, regardless. Like I said, I am more than capable of putting myself out on a limb and asking for nude pictures if that's what I decide I'm into. I don't because I do not want to because I do not want any. I have nothing against nudists or the like. If one feels the need to bare all, by all means, go ahead. Just don't drag me into it. It's disrespectful.

To make matters worse, this thing has been sat in my inbox for months because as you might have noticed, I haven't really been on Twitter since New Year's if not earlier, save for the automatic tweets I set up and now can't figure out how to stop (seriously, someone help). While I hope he at least feels somewhat ashamed for graphically assaulting me and any of his other victims without so much as a warning**, I would love nothing better than to tear him a new one. I have however, decided to pass on a golden opportunity to lecture someone and simply "reply" with a belated unfollow.

It's not personal growth; I'm just that irritated. Hence, Dita von Teese pointing a gun at the hilariously symbolic tiny potted plant.

Photography by BrakhaX2 for Genlux Magazine Fall 2010

*I don't care what anyone says, I am Legend was a great film. The scene where Neville quotes Shrek, that was quality cinema right there.

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